“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
I’ve noticed that sometimes people who are depressed or unhappy with their lives are often the most loving, caring, and compassionate people I’ve ever met. So they might go through their day worrying about other people and putting everyone else before their own needs, and being loving to everyone except themselves.
Do You Show Compassion to Everyone Except Yourself?
And there’s nothing wrong with being there for other people, but it’s important to show love and compassion to yourself too. If you’re one of those people who puts everyone else before you, it’s time you starting showing yourself love. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Like the quote above says, you deserve your love and affection too. But so often the most compassionate people are also the ones who are insecure or say terrible things to themselves.
Are you too hard on yourself? Try treating yourself like you would treat a best friend. If your friend or loved one made a mistake, would you repeatedly berate them and tell them how stupid they are? Or would you show them grace and let them know that it’s not the end of the world to make a little mistake? Odds are, some of the negative things you say to yourself are things you would probably never say to a loved one if they were in the same situation.
Put your thoughts and actions through the “best friend filter.” Would you say or do this to a best friend? Or does it seem too mean or hateful? Self-hate is no better than hating others.
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Or you can try this test. Sometimes it helps to change our behavior by believing that we are the future version of us that we want to be. How would you behave if you were already a person who loved themselves? Well, that’s easy. You wouldn’t talk to yourself negatively. You would show yourself forgiveness and compassion. And your inner self talk would be positive and encouraging, like “You can do this!” and “Keep going!”
So, use those two techniques the next time you find yourself being hard on yourself or having negative self talk. Either treat yourself like you would treat a best friend, or behave as if you are a person who already loves themselves, and gradually you will become that person.
You deserve your own kindness. 🙂
If you need encouragement to fill up your own “cup” with kindness first, you might be interested in our Self Care Planner.