You might have a story that you tell yourself about your life. Maybe you tell yourself that you’re the victim of this story, like I used to do in the past. Maybe you tell yourself that you’re alone in the world and everyone is only out for themselves. Or that things have been hard in the past and there’s no hope for you now. Or that you’re a broken person. But here’s how to change your story.
How to Change Your Story in Life
But the thing is, you’re the one writing your own story. You can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control how you tell the story about those events and about yourself.
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Instead of being the victim of circumstances, become the hero of your story.
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” – Harvey Fierstein
Refuse to Be a Victim
I used to believe I was a victim of every circumstance in my life, and every mean word anyone ever said to me. I took every negative situation or person to heart, and I really believed that the world was out to get me.
But you are only a victim if you think you are. Otherwise, you can be the hero of this story. You choose how you see your life.
Act as if you’re a hero, rather than a victim, and you’ll start to become one.
Let’s say someone in your life is treating you badly. Maybe they say or do mean things to you or you’re being bullied. If you were a victim, you might just go along with it or hope that it gets better on its own. But if you’re a hero, then you would stand up for yourself.
It’s not your fault how they’re treating you (you didn’t do anything to deserve this), but you do get to choose how you react.
First, you can try reasoning with them. Maybe they don’t know that they’re hurting you. Sometimes talking to someone calmly can help, and sometimes people just don’t know that they sound mean.
But if they do know they’re hurting you, and they’re doing it on purpose, then it’s ok to cut them out of your life. You don’t need that negativity, and you’ll both be better off.
It’s ok to stand up for yourself. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. But some people can’t be reasoned with, and in that case it’s goodbye to them.
You’re a strong person, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue tolerating someone who treats you like dirt. Or any other harmful situation in your life. Be proactive about changing things.
Be the hero of your story and you can rescue yourself. 🙂
Changing the Story You Tell Yourself
“I believe in mining through the darkest seasons in our lives and choosing to believe that we’ll find something important every time.” – Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet
Look back at a few significant events from your life. Maybe negative things that you feel impacted you for the worse. Is there a way to retell those stories with you gaining something from the experience?
Think about what happened. Maybe it was completely out of your control. But what is in your control is the way you react to what happened.
What can you learn from what happened? Did you grow in any way as a person? Or maybe did you come out stronger because of it?
Or now, years later, can you decide that it actually happened for a reason because otherwise something good in your life wouldn’t be there right now?
There are always two ways to tell a story. With a negative outlook, or a positive one.
Maybe your struggle in the past was actually just a period of inner growth and learning more about yourself. A metamorphosis. Learning how strong you truly are and how much you are capable of handling.
Either way, actively look for the good in what happened and work to change the stories you tell yourself about your life.
It’s all a matter of perspective.
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