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How to Be Gentle With Yourself

When you’re trying to reach your goals, sometimes it feels like everything is taking forever and that you’ll never get there. But you will, if you keep taking action. Here’s how to be gentle with yourself.

When you’re trying to reach your goals, sometimes it feels like everything is taking forever and that you’ll never get there. But you will, if you keep taking action. Here’s how to be gentle with yourself.

How to Be Gentle With Yourself

First, ask yourself: “Am I trying the best I can?”

You don’t have to do the best that’s humanly possible; you only have to try and do the best YOU can do right now.

Your “best” will look different than anyone else’s. And depending on where you are in life and how your mental health is, your version of trying your best might be as simple as getting through the day.

If you find that you’re overly critical with yourself, maybe it’s time to turn on the blinders so you don’t compare yourself to other people or their progress.

Everyone has a different journey and gets to the destination at different points.

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If you’re inspired by following other people, then follow them, but if it makes you want to compare yourself and feel bad about how far along you are or aren’t, then just focus on your own life rather than anyone else’s. Easier said than done though. 😉

The important thing is that you keep trying. Ok, what if you’re not succeeding right now? But are you still trying? That’s the part that matters.

If you’re depressed and trying to be happy, keep showing up and trying, again and again and again.

You probably didn’t get to this place overnight, so give yourself the grace to have as much time as you need to make your life better.

There is no deadline or “normal” amount of time that it takes to do something, especially when it comes to your emotions and life choices.

It’s possible that you’re doing things you’ve never done before or that are way out of your comfort zone at the moment.

And that’s definitely not an easy thing to do, so try to be gentle with yourself while you’re still growing and transforming. 🙂

You will get there one day.

If you’d like ways to let go of the negativity in your life, check out our Self Care Planner.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha

I’ve noticed that sometimes people who are depressed or unhappy with their lives are often the most loving, caring, and compassionate people I’ve ever met. So they might go through their day worrying about other people and putting everyone else before their own needs, and being loving to everyone except themselves.

I've noticed that sometimes people who are depressed or unhappy with their lives are often the most loving, caring, and compassionate people I've ever met. So they might go through their day worrying about other people and putting everyone else before their own needs, and being loving to everyone except themselves.

Do You Show Compassion to Everyone Except Yourself?

And there’s nothing wrong with being there for other people, but it’s important to show love and compassion to yourself too. If you’re one of those people who puts everyone else before you, it’s time you starting showing yourself love. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Like the quote above says, you deserve your love and affection too. But so often the most compassionate people are also the ones who are insecure or say terrible things to themselves.

Are you too hard on yourself? Try treating yourself like you would treat a best friend. If your friend or loved one made a mistake, would you repeatedly berate them and tell them how stupid they are? Or would you show them grace and let them know that it’s not the end of the world to make a little mistake? Odds are, some of the negative things you say to yourself are things you would probably never say to a loved one if they were in the same situation.

Get a free printable Self Care Checklist

Put your thoughts and actions through the “best friend filter.” Would you say or do this to a best friend? Or does it seem too mean or hateful? Self-hate is no better than hating others.

Or you can try this test. Sometimes it helps to change our behavior by believing that we are the future version of us that we want to be. How would you behave if you were already a person who loved themselves? Well, that’s easy. You wouldn’t talk to yourself negatively. You would show yourself forgiveness and compassion. And your inner self talk would be positive and encouraging, like “You can do this!” and “Keep going!”

So, use those two techniques the next time you find yourself being hard on yourself or having negative self talk. Either treat yourself like you would treat a best friend, or behave as if you are a person who already loves themselves, and gradually you will become that person.

You deserve your own kindness. 🙂

If you need encouragement to fill up your own “cup” with kindness first, you might be interested in our Self Care Planner.

How to Give Yourself Grace and Gentleness

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