When I was trying to learn how to be happy I reached a point when I felt fairly stable, and yet something was missing. I still had negative thoughts and I couldn’t figure out why I was still so depressed all the time. Nearly everything in my life was going right and I felt terribly guilty for being depressed for seemingly no reason. Here’s how to stop self sabotage.
How to Stop Self Sabotage
At one point back then I came across a book called Spirited that talked about self-sabotage. One of the exercises was to write down all the ways you can think of that you’re sabotaging yourself. I brushed it off initially and figured I could do the exercises in my head, if at all.
- How to Stop Holding Yourself Back
- The Best Books for Overcoming Depression
- 10 Quotes About Self Sabotage from The Big Leap
- When Life Keeps Getting Worse and Worse
- Are You Sabotaging Your Recovery?
It wasn’t until a few months later that I re-visited that chapter of the book and gave it a closer look. This time I decided, what the heck, I can use one sheet of paper writing down some thoughts. Maybe it will help.
So I wrote down every single way I could think of that I was sabotaging my health, my relationships, and my own journey in getting better. Examples of self-sabotage could be over spending, over eating, thinking your way into a bad mood when you start feeling better, etc.
Afterward, I felt so much better. I felt a sense of completion. An ending to something ugly.
After that point, whenever a bad thought or a thought of “I’m not good enough” came into my head, I told myself that I was sabotaging myself and that I wouldn’t allow those thoughts into my mind anymore. I decided that my mind was for pure thoughts only, and anything reminiscent of sabotage would have to be escorted off the premises promptly.
Each time I worried about how my depression would never get better, I pushed the thought out of my mind, recognizing that it was self-sabotage in its finest moments.
I replaced the negative thoughts with self love instead. If I had a negative thought, I would tell myself that I was enough as I was and that everything would be ok and that I would get better.
I cannot begin to tell you the incredible effect this had on my life. Recognizing my own self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors and replacing them with self-love and encouragement completely turned my life around and made me happier than I’ve ever been in my life.
So I encourage you to, yes literally, write down all the ways your thoughts are actually sabotaging you being happy and then cutting off your thoughts mid-stream and replacing them with something positive. I’d also recommend the book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks as well.
You can do it.
If you’d like more depression tips, you might also be interested in our 30 Day Negativity Detox. 🙂