You can always tell when you have an unhealed place in your life.
It’s those memories that make you cry, years after they’re over. The people you remember fondly. The places you lived, the experiences you had. The past hurts and pain and insecurities.
If thinking about something makes you cry, it’s an unhealed place.
Since living on my own, I’ve discovered many of these unhealed places in my life. While I can say that I’m genuinely happy and not depressed anymore, certain memories still haunt me. Thinking about the really depressed times in my life makes me feel vulnerable and raw, and like I’ve been cracked open all over again.
But sometimes you have to dredge up the past. If you keep it hidden away, repressed and shameful, you can’t truly heal on a deep level. Trying to forget something painful that happened doesn’t make it go away, it just makes you hurt in new and different ways. Sometimes our emotional pain comes out as physical pain. Or if you don’t realize how hurt you are, you start lashing out at your loved ones without intending to.
When we leave things unhealed, it brings more pain to our life.
So what do you do? You heal those unhealed places. (But only when you feel like you’re ready and you want to).
You dare to go to those places where you have to tread lightly. You let yourself feel all the emotions that come up when you think of those memories, and you let it wash over you like an ocean. And when it’s over, you feel a little naked. Like maybe some of your shell has been cracked open, or the layers of an onion have been peeled off. You forgive whoever needs forgiving (including yourself), and you honor whatever feelings come up for you. You don’t try to force anything to get better or micromanage your emotions, but let a resolution unfold in its own time. You love yourself, no matter what.
And over time, you feel less naked. You start to heal, and new layers form on top to protect the raw skin. The scab is gone, and you can heal for good this time. But only when you’re ready.