When good things happen to other people, sometimes our reaction is not to be happy for them but to be jealous and a little bitter. Are you falling into the “must be nice” trap?
Are You Falling Into the “Must Be Nice” Trap?
Picture this: someone posts some amazing vacation photos on Instagram.
You see them and think, “Wow, must be nice to have so much money and not have to work hard like the rest of us.”
But there’s a few problems with this way of thinking.
One, when you try to block someone else’s happiness, you unknowingly block your own happiness. People who are genuinely happy are also happy for other people when good things happen in their lives. Like attracts like.
Happiness is not a limited resource, and there is more than enough to go around for everyone who chooses to let it in.
Next, you usually don’t know the full story behind the story (or the picture). Maybe someone posts photos from their gap year vacation through Europe, but you have no idea that they’ve spent the last year working 80 hours a week to save enough money for the trip.
Or maybe someone posts some fit bikini pictures from the beach, and you think, “Wow, must be nice to be so skinny and never have to worry about your weight.”
But do you really know the whole story behind those pictures? Maybe they work out everyday and carefully watch what they eat. Or even if they are “naturally” in shape and don’t have to do anything, being bitter about someone else’s success and happiness does nothing to improve your life or situation. In fact, it just blocks happiness and success from you more.
If you want to be happier, it helps to be around other positive, happy people. Jim Rohn says, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” So do you want to spend time with the people who are also happy and doing well, or do you want to spend time with the group of hecklers who has something negative to say about everything?
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Your vibe attracts your tribe, so unfortunately, if you are negative and cynical and try to tear down other people, you are going to attract more people like that in your life.
The next time you see someone doing well or succeeding, instead of thinking, “Must be nice, but I can’t do that because [insert excuse],” see if you can emulate what they’re doing that’s getting them results.
The honest truth is that you have results or excuses, but not both. Your excuses might be totally valid and real, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be overcome. And if you want results, you have to give up all your excuses.
If you need inspiration, look for inspirational stories of people who have overcome whatever excuse or adversity you are currently facing. And instead of thinking “Must be nice,” change your thinking to, “If they can do it, so can I.”
P.S. If you’d like more ways to let go of the negativity in your life, check out our 30 Day Negativity Detox.