The Big Leap is a great book by Gay Hendricks about upper limits and the way we start to sabotage ourselves when anything in our life gets “too good.” We reach an upper limit of what we feel we deserve, and then we sabotage things until we get back to a level where we feel comfortable. That’s why if you’re used to being depressed all the time, if things start to go well in your life you might subconsciously sabotage things until you’re depressed again, which is where you’re comfortable. The book is about how to transcend these upper limits and allow more good things into our lives.
Here are some more quotes about self sabotage and upper limits from The Big Leap:
1. “I manufactured the stream of painful images because I was feeling good! Some part of me was afraid of enjoying positive energy for any extended period of time.”
2. “I have a limited tolerance for feeling good. When I hit my Upper Limit, I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad. The problem is bigger than just my internal feelings, though: I seem to have a limited tolerance for my life going well in general. When I hit my Upper Limit, I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory. I get into a conflict with my ex-wife, get into a money bind, or do something else that brings me back down within the bounds of my limited tolerance.”
3. “How am I getting in my own way?”
4. “Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.”
5. “Your capacity expands in small increments each time you consciously let yourself enjoy the money you have, the love you feel, and the creativity you are expressing in the world. As that capacity for enjoyment expands, so does your financial abundance, the love you feel, and the creativity you express.”
6. “If you focus for a moment, you can always find some place in you that feels good right now. Your task is to give the expanding positive feeling your full attention. When you do, you will find that it expands with your attention. Let yourself enjoy it as long as you possibly can.”
7. “It was very humbling to realize that my worries were there just to make me miserable. It was even more humbling to realize that I was the guy who had his finger firmly pressed on the misery button. It was wonderful, though, to discover that I also had the power to quit pressing the button.”
8. “If I could consider, even for a moment, that I was not upset for the reason I thought I was, I could break out of the trance I was in. Then, I could begin to see what the real issues were.”
9. “What important feelings am I not letting into my awareness?”
10. “Getting stubborn and defensive invites the sledgehammer; getting open and curious invites the feather. It took me a long time to figure out who was in charge of the painfulness of my lessons.”
If you’d like more depression tips, check out our 30 Day Negativity Detox.